In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not anything that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him. He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light. The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John bore witness about him, and cried out, "This was he of whom I said, 'He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.'") For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.
This is my story and it always be. Before I was, before this world came into being, Christ was with the Father and He was God and He was with God. He knew me by name before he created me and before he created this world. He knew the steps I would take. He knew the family I would be born into, the culture and the country that would surround me, the sports I would play, the college I would attend, and the friends I would choose. He knew the mistakes I would make, the people I would date, the rules I would break. He knew the heartbreak I would walk through and he knew every joy that would bring laughter to my soul and my smile. He knew the way that He would use Creation itself to fill me up, shower love on me, and intimately pursue my heart.
He was, and He Is. He's the Great I Am. He is faithful. Just as he pulled me out of the pit of my sin and breathed life into my dry bones, his grace woke me up this morning and covers me today. He is the perfect balance of both Grace and Truth- he desperately pursues me with an unrelenting love despite my sin or how many times I try to run away; yet he does not cross himself and he continually teaches me, renewing my heart and my mind in Truth. There is no other way.
This is my life. It's covered and it's surrounded above, behind, and before, in Christ Jesus. I don't want the whole world and lose my soul; I desire nothing more than to know Christ and him crucified. Crucified for my sin. For my transgression. So that by his wounds, I might be healed. That by his wounds, despite this crazy and broken world I live in, I might reach up and turn to choose Jesus and find life itself.
I've found life. By grace and grace alone he found me worthy. He loves me. He believes in me. He has give n me everything I need for life and godliness- everything! When I begin to fear where I'll be tomorrow, or where I'll be six years from now; when I ask him where my husband is or what career path I'll actually go down when it comes down to it; when I'm self-conscious and look for worth in my dress size or my hair, he gently whispers, "I Am. I am all that you need; I am more than enough. I am love, I am hope, I am life. I love you. You are worthy, holy, chosen, and loved because of me, and I deeply desire that you trust me and just continue to walk with me. Follow. Let my light shine through you into the world. I'm coming. I'm coming to redeem this world and to claim those hearts that are mine. Be a part of what I'm doing. Let me use you to shine light into the darkness. Let me use you to bear witness about the light, that people may see your good works and see nothing but the Father in Heaven."
I trust you, Jesus. Your ways are higher and your plans are far beyond what I would ever ask or imagine. I pray God that all who are with me today might become what I am- free and found in you- complete- whole- alive- and that your light will penetrate every corner of the darkness. You alone reign!
